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From
the Obsessive Compulsive Rep Counter to Leisure Suit Larry
in Gym Shorts, these are the people that you meet when
you're lifting.
Sometimes,
when a person sets foot inside the gym, they turn into a
whole other person. If you've been to pretty much any gym in
the world, you are sure to recognize the people you're about
to read about...
1.
Smell Me Madge, I Soaked In It.
You
can detect this person coming before they even set foot
inside the door of the gym. Little tip: it's fine to wear a
little perfume or cologne to the gym but don't soak your
clothes in it. Have a shower instead. |
2.
Obsessive Compulsive Rep Counter
Like a
meditation mantra, the numbers get counted until the specific magic
number has been reached. To really have some fun, stand behind this
person as they do their set and start saying random numbers out loud
as they count.
3.
Leisure Suit Larry In Gym Shorts
Looking for
love in all the wrong places. Often a colgne-soaker and always on
the prowl, even constant and harsh rejection from every single
female he encounters (including the potted plants) doesn't seem to
slow Larry down.
4. Don't
Make Me Lift That Heavy Thing
If you've ever
watched someone monopolize the 2-pound neoprene dumbells for 20
minutes, you've seen this person in action. Fear of developing
massive, icky-looking, veiny muscles from even looking at anything
heavier than a Rice Krispie Treat keeps this person away from the
weights that actually have numbers written on them. I've seen a
person like this straining with a novelty dumbell pen.
5. You
Don't Need A Jack For That Car Now That I'm Here
Cinch that
weight belt up until you look like a big red Pop 'n Fresh doughboy
in a corset, it's time to do 3 inch, hunched-over, bowl-legged,
shaky-leg squats! There's something to be said for lifting within
your means (and for not cinching your weight belt up so tight that
you c--p yourself during a set).
6.
Where's The Ashtray For This Treadmill?
You can always
spot the person who's at the gym against their will and under
doctors orders. They are doing as little as possible as slowly as
possible and are always looking for somebody to work in with them so
that they can stop.
7. The
Bouncy Bench Press Crew
Young males
traveling in packs of 3 or more, hogging the bench press for
uncounted sets of trampoline-like reps with far too much weight
while their training partners yell "it's all you" as
though it really is. I hear the concave chest look is "in"
this year...
8.
Please Don't Wear That
Some people
simply should NOT wear spandex and I can't figure out why they do.
I'll leave it at that.
9. The
Brick Wall
No matter how
much anybody tells this person that the exercise they're doing is
going to shatter their spine, they continue to pig-headedly do it
anyway because their 9th grade gym teacher taught it to them 26
years ago.
10. The
Beast
You'll often
see this person banging their head against the concrete wall to
psych themselves up for a set because "drywall is just too
soft."
11. The
Mountain Man
Apparently, he
just walked in from taking down some trees in the backcountry and
didn't have time to change out of his dirty sweatpants, flannel
shirt and work boots before heading to the gym.
12. The
Gym Bunny
If you're not
in the gym for a serious workout, but to set the stair machine on 1
and try desperately hard not to sweat and mess up your precious hair
and makeup, hop yourself out the door. Leisure Suit Larry is hanging
out in the parking lot waiting someone... ANYONE.
More
Gym Personalities
About The Author
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Nick
Nilsson is Vice-President of the online personal training
company BetterU,
Inc. He has a Bachelor's degree in Physical
Education and Psychology with emphasis on biomechanics,
physiology and kinesiology. He has been inventing new
training techniques for more than 16 years.
Nick
is a personal trainer and the author of a number of
bodybuilding eBooks including "Metabolic Surge - Rapid
Fat Loss," "The Best Exercises You've Never Heard
Of," "Gluteus to the Maximus - Build a Bigger Butt
NOW!" and "The Best Abdominal Exercises You've
Never Heard Of" all available at: www.Fitness-eBooks.com
He can be contacted at betteru@fitstep.com |
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